I wanted to get off to “ Welcome to New York,” but it was not to be. I had to turn the volume all the way up - to the point of distortion - before Siri, which was literally inches away, would react. This was obviously incompatible with jacking off, so I grabbed my Oontz speaker, balanced it precariously on my keyboard tray, and played more Taylor off my iPod. It wasn’t until I blasted it to an uncomfortably loud level and held Siri close to my computer speakers that it responded. On one occasion, even that volume level was not enough to get the Siri 2 to vibrate to the music. Like any red-blooded American, I like to listen to Taylor Swift very loudly all the time - whether I’m cleaning, driving, showering, or having a threesome. Then… THEN… there’s the miserable music mode. LELO have been champs about replacing them for me, and their toys come with 1-year warranties (and 10-year quality guarantees), but I still feel a little disenchanted. There’s the fact that my first Siri 2 died after I tested it underwater, and my second wouldn’t hold a charge longer than a week. There are the reports of Siri 2s going berserk, and one strange instance of discolored buttons. There are issues, like the Siri 2’s excessive price: $159. Or perhaps you’d like to subscribe in a different way?īut it’s not all sunshine and fast food. (And some other shades called “ pink” and “purple” or something?) In addition to its power and the rumbly nature of its vibrations, Siri 2’s biggest asset is its wide range of intensity settings - a continuum, if you will, rather than a couple pre-programmed speeds. It also lasts an admirable 2 hours and 9 minutes on a charge on high, and it comes in glorious, glorious black. Siri 2 has several strength settings beyond the original Siri’s, and its vibrations are stronger than almost all its competitors, bested only by the Je Joue Mimi. If you’ve come to distrust LELO’s claims that a second generation toy will be “100% more powerful,” I don’t blame you. 1 I tend to hold it sideways against my clit so it’s more pinpoint, but it can also be positioned straight on for more broad stimulation. It’s perfect for some quick hand-down-the-pajama-pants action, but equally excellent for longer masturbation sessions. It’s not the worst.Īt 4″ long, Siri 2 is small enough to nuzzle into my vulva, but not so tiny that it leaps out of my fingers. I just have to brace the toy against my hand to change settings. But like that time Burger King replaced their chicken tenders with nuggets, time passed and I begrudgingly accepted my new reality. I’m an old person and I hate change, so I was disproportionately angry about this. Siri’s buttons used to be effortless to press, and now they’re recessed and require a much more concerted effort. It truly is a versatile and stimulating little bugger.īut I was crotchety, at first. Within just a few uses, this vibrator earned its place in the top drawer of my desk, along with my three Monas and Pure Wand - the upper echelon of my sex toy collection. Thanks, guys, for giving me something to bitch about! Wouldn’t be right to go an entire review without yelling about some dumb gimmick, eh?Īside from that music mode (which I will properly address in a bit), Siri 2 is almost exactly what I hoped it would be. But because this is LELO in 2016, there must be an added “feature” nobody asked for: sound sensitivity. It is now waterproof and indeed, it is more powerful. Siri is finally fulfilling the destiny I always envisioned for it. “Not quite - it would need to be waterproof and have more power.” It wasn’t terribly strong, but it was rumbly, and it was enough. “Is it the clit vibe to end all clit vibes?” I wrote. Pickings were slim when it came to rechargeable clitoral vibrators, and I was less jaded. The sex toy landscape was different when I reviewed the original Siri back in 2010. While they were off dilly-dallying with weird oral sex simulators and pretentious cock rings, I was over here drumming my fingernails on my desk, condescendingly clicking my tongue, wondering if the almost-great Siri would ever get an upgrade. I’ve been waiting years for LELO to upgrade their humble little clit vibe, Siri.
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